Yesterday, during World Mental Health Day 2025,
I felt the need to write this. Not just to share my story, but to remind myself, and maybe you too, that every inner wound deserves space to heal.

Mental health is not something we should hide. It is not a taboo.
Many people still do not realize the importance of taking care of their minds, just as they care for their bodies.

When we are physically sick, we rest, take medicine, and see a doctor.
But when our heart or mind is hurting, we often do nothing. We let the pain sit quietly, pretending everything is fine.

Just like a physical wound, emotional pain needs to be treated.
Yet many of us avoid it. We try to distract ourselves, to find quick happiness that only lasts for a moment.
Those things might help us forget for a while, but they never really heal what is broken inside.

I used to be one of those people who thought mental health was not a big deal.
Until life forced me to face the truth about myself.

 

***Loss and Trauma

I used to be cheerful. Easy to laugh. Brave.
But time changed me. Life did too.

I think the turning point came in 2021, the hardest year of my life.
At that time, I was in Taiwan, trying to finish my lab work and my master’s thesis.
It was already a difficult year, and the world outside was falling apart because of COVID-19.

Then, in January 2021, I received terrible news from home.
An earthquake had hit the place where my loved ones lived.
I felt crushed. The world stopped for a moment.
And soon after, my father passed away.

Everything happened so fast that I could not even react.
I was lost, confused, and powerless.
Looking back now, I think that was when the pain began. The real one.

Since then, I have been afraid of losing people close to me — my family, my friends, anyone I care about.
When that fear appears, I start to blame myself for everything.
And after going through all those losses, I realized something:
The wounds that no one can see are often the ones that stay the longest.

 

***Finding Myself Again

I recently learned something about myself.
It is called fear of losing.

That is my wound. My old trauma.
And it took me years to finally see it clearly.

It was not easy to figure this out.
I spent weeks thinking, visiting psychologists and psychiatrists, trying to understand what was happening inside me.

It all started when a few things happened back to back this year.
Between July and September 2025, so many things went wrong, one after another.
And I noticed something strange: I reacted the same way every time.

I panicked. I overreacted.
Sometimes I scared people without meaning to.
It was like something inside me took control, and I could not stop it.

It confused me, because I have always been good at handling stress.
I am usually calm and collected when working under pressure.
But not this time. This time, I completely fell apart.

After those moments, my body would shake. My heart raced. I could not forgive myself.
I hated what I became.
Everything I used to enjoy suddenly stopped making sense.

But instead of blaming others, I started to ask questions.
What really happened to me?

After several therapy sessions, I finally found the answer.
I am afraid of losing people. That fear controls me more than I realized.
It was the last missing piece of my emotional puzzle.

And I learned that healing does not move in a straight line.
Some days I feel fine. Some days I break again.
But every time I fall, I try to stand up a little gentler than before.

***Healing and Saying Sorry

There are people I wish I could talk to again.
People I hurt, even if I never meant to.

I want them to know what really happened, and what I have learned since then.
I want to tell them that I am sorry. Deeply sorry.

What I did was never out of anger or bad intention.
It was my fear speaking, not me.
And I regret it more than I can say.

Now, I am trying to heal.
And part of that healing is asking for forgiveness, sincerely, from the heart.

If any of those people ever read this, I want to say:

“Hi. I hope your days have been filled with peace and joy.
It’s been a long time. I want to apologize for what happened.
I know I hurt you, even if that was never my intention.
Back then, I was reacting out of fear. Yeah, the fear of losing people I care about.
I now understand it better, and I am working to heal it.
If there is ever a chance, I would love to show you how much I have changed.
Thank you for being a part of my journey, even during the hard parts.
I truly hope you can forgive me.”

 

***What I’ve Learned

I am learning that forgiving myself is part of loving myself.
I cannot change the past, but I can grow from it.

I am learning that courage does not mean the absence of fear.
It means facing fear with awareness and kindness.

And I have realized that healing is not about forgetting.
It is about walking side by side with your pain, gently and consciously, until it no longer defines you.

Because in the end, every wound that is healed with love turns into wisdom.

Now that I understand myself better, I am also learning to understand others.
Whenever someone reacts with anger or emotion, I try to pause and ask:
Is there something in me that needs reflection?
Or maybe, what pain have they carried from their past?

I believe every reaction comes from a story we do not see.
That is where empathy begins — not from wanting to be right,
but from realizing that everyone carries their own invisible wounds.

And if you are reading this while struggling with your own pain, please remember this:
You are not alone.
Your wounds can heal, as long as you have the courage to face them and ask for help when you need it.