Today I sat alone in an empty room.
No one else was there. No noise. Just me and my own thoughts.

Suddenly I cried.
Suddenly I laughed.
Suddenly I felt tired.

And honestly, I didn’t even know why.

I tried to be kind to myself. I wanted to tell my body and mind,
“I’m sorry, you must be so tired.”
But somehow, I didn’t know how to show compassion to myself.
There was no option, no space, no clear way out.

Sometimes I just sit still, feeling empty, feeling drained.
Even eating doesn’t feel right.
I tried once, and I ended up throwing up.
That was when I started to worry. Maybe even my body is giving up.

And still, in the middle of all this, I try to stay strong.
I don’t want to look weak.
I don’t want to be a burden.
But every time I open up, there is this voice in my head that says,
“You are just seeking attention.”
“You are pathetic.”

But am I, really?

I am starting to realize that maybe it is not my fault.
Maybe I have just been pretending to be okay for too long.
I have been holding everything in, until the system finally crashes.

Maybe this is my body’s way of saying,
“Please, let me rest.”

Not to give up,
but to heal.

I know this is not a beautiful piece of writing.
It is not a heroic story.
But it is real.
This is what I am feeling right now.

So if one day I come back and read this again,
I want to say to myself,

“Thank you for holding on this far.”
“It is okay to rest when you are tired.”
“You are not a burden.”
“You are worthy of love, even from yourself.”

For now, just breathe.
We will walk again tomorrow.
But tonight, let me be still.
Just breathe.
Just exist.

And that is enough.